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Posted

What's the difference between a Blonde and a shopping trolley?

A shopping trolley's got a mind of its own!

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Posted

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died??
He pasta way

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Posted

What make of car does a dog like?

A Dachshund (Datsun)

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Posted

When sheep can't get to sleep, what do they count?

A ?

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Posted
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
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Posted
 
So I said to the German bloke.
Why is that lump of meat in the boot of your car?"

"Dat is my spare veal" he replied.
 
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $3.00 a tin and deer nuts are under a buck.
 

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Posted

Why was the cat sitting on the computer?

To keep an eye on the mouse!

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Posted

Why dont cats play poker in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

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Posted

Is a sagging buttocks the same term as falling behind?

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Posted

Why do noses run and feet smell?

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What did Colonel Gadaffi and Freddie Mercury have in common?

They both died after some men entered their sewage pipe.

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What's the difference between in laws and outlaws.

Outlaws are wanted.

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What do you call an elephant with a smartphone?

A roaming charge.

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Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don't ask her out again.

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Posted

Who can drink a gallon of Petrol and not get sick?

Jerry Can

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Q: What goes into 13 twice?

A: Roman Polanski.

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Posted

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

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Posted

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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What do you call a dinosaur that uses cheap toilet paper?

Megasoreass!

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Why did Cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil.

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Why are condoms transparent ?

So that sperms can at least enjoy the scenery even if their entry is restricted

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