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Posted

What do ya call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee fuk

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Posted

What kind of running means walking?
Running out of petrol...

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Posted

Why did God invent marriage?

Because hopes and dreams won't crush themselves y'know.

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Posted

What's the difference between cycling and making out.

One has you sticking your legs and moving your arse..
The other has it sticking the arse and moving the legs

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Posted

Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

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Because she was fckg Goofy.

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Posted

What is similarity between sex, and fishing?
It doesn’t matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm. '

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Posted

Heard about the guy that invented the door knockers?

He won a No Bell Price for it.

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What's the difference between broccoli and snot????

Kids will not eat broccoli !!!

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Why can't two women play monopoly together
There's only one iron

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If you have a wet dream, do your sheets become a dream-catcher.?

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Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?
The thief was spending less then his wife.

 
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Posted

What do forklifts and girls have in common?

If you don't have one you will have to unload by hand

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

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Posted

What do you call an elf that doesn't have any building blocks?
LEGOlas












 

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Posted

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field!

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What is the difference between a Burger and a Shooting Star?

The Burger is meatier, the Shooting star is a little meteor.

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What do you call a basement apartment occupied by two elderly Jewish women?
A whine cellar.

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Posted

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven button on phone

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What is the difference between a condom and Congress?
You can only put one d*ck in a condom.

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Posted

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..

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What is the best place to meet really hot older women?

Try the crematorium.

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Posted

72646443_109898020429183_792085138389965

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What"s the difference between an Irishwoman and an Arabic woman? The Irishwoman gets stoned before she commits adultery.

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Posted

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a 'Superhero'!!!...... Iron Woman is a simple instruction!

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Posted

What's the difference between a boxer and a woman?

A boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman lies down to get knocked up.

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