Dysfunctional Families

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22 Funny Quotes About Dysfunctional Families

If your family’s been driving you… well, nuts, here are funny quotes about dysfunctional families to make you feel better. (Don’t mention it.)

1. Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements. ~ Queen Elizabeth II
2. It's as simple as you can explain all of 'Dallas.' We're a dysfunctional family forced to stay together. ~ Patrick Duffy
3. It doesn't matter whether you have the happiest upbringing... the young Joe Scot had the most dysfunctional family there could be but it's still a family and it's a really good, strong family. But in spite of that he runs away from home. I relate to all of those things very directly. ~ Daniel Craig
4. If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' ~ Jeff Foxworthy
5. All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. ~ W.C. Fields
6. Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~ Unknown
7. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city. ~ George Burns
8. Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. ~ Cary Grant
9. For the first time ever, I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
10. I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. ~ Mary Karr
11. I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom. ~ Bob Hope
12. Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other. ~ Lois McMaster Bujold
13. The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. ~ George Carlin
14. When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them. ~ Emo Phillips
15. Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage Parlors with ice cream and free jewellery. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
16. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long~ term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. ~ Chelsea Handler
17. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. ~ Tim Vine
18. Few mistakes can be made by a mother in-law who is willing to babysit. ~ Anonymous
19. To encourage my little kid to eat something, I’d sometimes say: “Just pretend it’s sand.” ~ Anonymous
20. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. ~ Sam Levenson
21. Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern… like bad wallpaper. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
22. If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. ~ George Bernard Shaw