26 Brutal Comebacks - When Someone Makes Fun Of You

[uk666]

26 Brutal Comebacks - When Someone Makes Fun Of You

1. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’re an expert on my life. ~ Assert your independence; nobody knows you better than yourself.
2. Wow, the garbage can is jealous of all that trash coming out of your mouth. ~ Reminding them to keep the environment clean.
3. Are you always this rude, or did I just catch you on a really bad year? ~ Time flies when you’re not being nice.
4. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. ~ A reminder that looks fade, but personality endures.
5. I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one. ~ Because some looks don’t need any more additions.
6. Don’t let your mind wander; it’s too small to be out on its own. ~ A wandering mind should always know its way back home.
7. I’d insult you, but nature did a better job. ~ Sometimes, you just can’t improve on the original.
8. Did you hear that? It was the sound of my interest in your opinion leaving the room. ~ Interest has its own sound, apparently.
9. I’d tell you to go outside and play hide and seek, but you’re so irrelevant it’s like you’re already hiding. ~ Invisibility can be a state of irrelevance.
10. I would say you’re barking up the wrong tree, but that would imply you can climb trees. ~ A comment on both strategic errors and athletic ability.
11. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. ~ An acknowledgment of effectiveness, if not intelligence.
12. You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. ~ An unfortunate fate for the unchosen.
13. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. ~ A beauty tip with a twist.
14. If you’re waiting for me to care about your opinion of me, I hope you brought something to eat, because it’s going to be a really long time. ~ A humorous way to express disinterest.
15. I don’t remember ordering a glass of your opinion. ~ Reminding them that their thoughts were unsolicited.
16. I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any puppets or crayons. ~ When you think visuals might be the only way they’d understand.
17. It’s impossible to underestimate you. ~ Suggesting they’ve set the bar low enough already.
18. I’m not a mirror, but I’m happy to reflect how ridiculous you sound. ~ A smart way to show that their words are a reflect their own foolishness.
19. I’d educate you, but I left my puppet and crayons at home. ~ Implying their comprehension needs simple aids.
20. I don’t engage in mental combat with the unarmed. ~ Insinuating they’re not equipped for a battle of wits.
21. The only thing more pathetic than your joke is expecting me to laugh at it. ~ A straightforward jab at their failed attempt at humour.
22. You’re not exactly the best at anything, but you’re great at being irrelevant. ~ Pointing out that they do not matter in the grand scheme of things.
23. Shock me, say something intelligent. ~ Challenging them to surpass the low expectations you have for their wit.
24. You’re like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. ~ A comparison to something universally dreaded.
25. You’re the reason why the middle finger was created. ~ A humorous suggestion that they inspire rudeness.
26. If I wanted a bitch, I’d have bought a dog. ~ An aggressive comeback for someone who is being particularly nasty.