Hilariously Funny Coffee Quotes

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Hilariously Funny Coffee Quotes

Coffee, what would we do without it?

I spend my early mornings with my coffee and the delete button, it’s just a great way to start the day. The joy of hitting the delete button and eliminating all the phishing, scams, junk emails from: Ukrainian women, casino free bonuses and spins, politicians, banks, cheap airline deals and free credit card, sometimes it takes two cups.

Whether you’re a fan of iced coffee, are a Starbucks regular or your own specialty blend of beans, our list of one-liners, sarcastic humour and short phrases are sure to make you laugh.

Hilariously Funny Coffee Quotes

1. We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
2. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. ~ Unknown
3. Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants. ~ Nanea Hoffman
4. It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. ~ Dave Barry
5. Coffee is a language itself. ~ Jackie Chan
6. I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. ~ Lewis Black
7. Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee. ~ AJ Lee
8. Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. ~ Earl Wilson
9. I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee. ~ Burt Lancaster
10. Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever it is that makes you happy. ~ Rita Moreno 
11. If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever. ~ David Letterman
12. I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover. ~ Sandra Bullock
13. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ~ Steven Wright
14. No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odour to the nostrils. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
15. What on Earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee? ~ Anthony Trollope
16. No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’ ~ Cherise Sinclair
17. Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It’s called sleeping. ~ Unknown
18. I had some dreams; they were clouds in my coffee. ~ Carly Simon
19. Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. ~ David Lynch
20. It’s not until my third cup of coffee that I am fully awake and willing to face the consequences of that condition. ~ Laura Bohannan

Incidentally, if you spotted a suspicious email, you can forward it to the suspicious email reporting service e.g. in the UK @phishing.gov.uk.

Your report of a phishing email helps the authorities to act quickly, stop as many of them as possible and protect more people from being affected.