18 Funny Christmas Quotes

[uk666]

18 Funny Christmas Quotes

1. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." - Shirley Temple
2. "Nothing's is mean as to give a little child something useful for Christmas." - Kin Hubbard
3. "That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me." - Jerry Seinfeld
4. "Dear Santa, this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. You mixed those two up last year." - Unknown
5. "There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
6. "It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their smartphones." - Jimmy Kimmel
7. "Why is Christmas just like a day in the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit." - Uknown
8. "Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year." - Victor Borge
9. "The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can’t charge it." - Bill Vaughan
10. "I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." - Bernard Manning
11. "Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet." - Unknown
12. "I hate the radio this time of year because they play 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' like, every other song. And that’s just not enough." - Bridger Winegar
13. "Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?" - Matt Groening
14. "A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together." - Garrison Keillor
15. "Next to a circus there aren’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Kin Hubbard
16. "Christmas is a magical time of year…I just watched all my money magically disappear." - Unknown
17. "They say that Christmas is just around the corner but how can it be when the world is round?" - Unknown
18. "Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip." - Gary Allan