Punny Programming Jokes

[FunkyBuddha]

Programming Jokes

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It’s a hardware problem.

“What happened to your funny programming jokes?” asks the CTO.

“They’re still loading,” replied the junior developer.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”

“Yes,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

What does programming consist of?

10% science
20% ingenuity
70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science

Have you heard about the new Cray supercomputer?

It’s so fast, that it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

What is debugging?

Removing the needles from the haystack.

What are the three most dangerous things in the world?

1. A programmer with a soldering iron.
2. A hardware engineer with a software patch.
3. A user with an idea.

A computer software developer asks God, “Where will I go after I die?”

God’s Answer: Onto a DAT tape and into offline storage.

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

Why did the database administrator leave his wife?

She had one-to-many relationships.

What did the Java code say to the C code?

You’ve got no class.

What is a programmer (according to programmers)?

A person who fixes a problem you don’t know you have in a way you don’t understand.

What is the dictionary definition of a programmer (noun):

A machine that turns coffee into code.

What is a software developer?

A person who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those with questionable knowledge.

What is an algorithm?

A word used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.

What did the project Manager say to the programmer?

You start coding, and I’ll go find out what they want.

Why did the software coder enjoy pressing the F5 key?

It was refreshing.