MMT Posted March 17, 2022 #176 Posted March 17, 2022 The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains give hope to many people
MMT Posted March 17, 2022 #177 Posted March 17, 2022 Always make sure SOMEONE in the relationship has good credit. That is why it is called "significant" other. sign/if/I/cant 1
MMT Posted March 17, 2022 #178 Posted March 17, 2022 If you think you are smarter than the previous generation ... 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today it warns you not to drink the contents of the battery.
Seafood Posted March 17, 2022 #179 Posted March 17, 2022 I told a woman at work she drew her eyebrows on too high, she looked surprised.
MMT Posted March 18, 2022 #180 Posted March 18, 2022 Over a hundred years ago two brothers said they could fly Turns out they were Wright
MMT Posted March 18, 2022 #181 Posted March 18, 2022 My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday That's ridiculous! I didn't even know it was her birthday
MMT Posted March 18, 2022 #182 Posted March 18, 2022 A guy walks into a lumber yard and asks for some two by fours The clerk asks: "How long do you need them?" The guy replies: "A very long time - we are going to build a house."
MMT Posted March 19, 2022 #183 Posted March 19, 2022 Tonto: Can you think of something worse thana being scalped, Kemo Sabe? Lone Ranger: Not off the top of my head, Tonto 1
Seafood Posted March 19, 2022 #184 Posted March 19, 2022 Amazing, I got a voodoo doll of the wife and stuck pins in the head. When she came home she'd had her ears pierced.
Seafood Posted March 20, 2022 #185 Posted March 20, 2022 90 % of men kiss their wifes goodbye when they leave the house. About the same percentage kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wifes. 1 1
Seafood Posted March 21, 2022 #186 Posted March 21, 2022 Be careful when trying to gently squeeze the pump at the petrol station to stop it at £30. I've just missed it and it went to £43.62.
Seafood Posted March 22, 2022 #187 Posted March 22, 2022 When a girl cancels a date, it's because she HAS TO. When a boy cancels a date, it's because he HAS TWO !
Seafood Posted March 23, 2022 #188 Posted March 23, 2022 A bit unfair that Lia Thomas an American transgender swimmer won the women's freestyle 500m..... By a length!!..
Seafood Posted March 24, 2022 #189 Posted March 24, 2022 The Queen's got covid, and it looks like she caught it off Charles. Suppose it was easier than sneaking in her room with a pillow.
MMT Posted March 25, 2022 #190 Posted March 25, 2022 How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps but never enough for potholes?
MMT Posted March 25, 2022 #191 Posted March 25, 2022 I wonder what the part of my brain I used for storing people's telephone numbers is doing now?
MMT Posted March 25, 2022 #192 Posted March 25, 2022 Most people are at the age where they are using their phones to document the good times in their lives. I am at the age where I use my phone to take pictures of label I cannot read and use my phone to enlarge the print so that I can read it. 1
Seafood Posted March 25, 2022 #193 Posted March 25, 2022 The year is 2024. Your electric car won't start for 48 hours because your status on FB was deemed too offensive!!..
Seafood Posted March 26, 2022 #194 Posted March 26, 2022 I just broke my record for most days lived...
Seafood Posted March 27, 2022 #195 Posted March 27, 2022 My mother in law is a big woman. She got run over last week, the driver said he had enough room to get round her but he didn't have enough petrol..
Seafood Posted March 28, 2022 #196 Posted March 28, 2022 Wait till they bring out the movie about tiger woods dad starring oj simpson as tiger king
Seafood Posted March 29, 2022 #197 Posted March 29, 2022 There can be a 1000 people in a room. 999 people won't slap you, but one Will..
Seafood Posted March 30, 2022 #198 Posted March 30, 2022 I have just read that Katie Price is after an MBE.... Most boyfriends ever!!..
Seafood Posted March 31, 2022 #199 Posted March 31, 2022 I made a chicken salad last night . . . turns out they prefer a bit of grain.
Seafood Posted April 1, 2022 #200 Posted April 1, 2022 My Italian friend has just lost both of his hands in a horrific accident. His doctor is worried that he may never talk again!
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