Seafood Posted February 13 Share #901 Posted February 13 In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 14 Share #902 Posted February 14 Hertz has had enough of them now citing that the repair costs of fixing them is so astronomical and isn’t worth the effort !! Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 15 Share #903 Posted February 15 You know when you're getting old when your feet hurt, before you get out of bed Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 16 Share #904 Posted February 16 4 months ago i sent my hearing aids in for repair... I've heard nothing since 1 Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 17 Share #905 Posted February 17 I once sang with Tom Jones . He was on the radio, I was on the toilet. 1 Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 18 Share #906 Posted February 18 Anger can be an expensive luxury Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 19 Share #907 Posted February 19 My Japanese neighbour Mr Chow Mein told me he was a kamikaze pilot in the war,,I said hold on well how are you still alive,He said i was Chicken Chow Mein, 1 Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 20 Share #908 Posted February 20 Grandad came in rubbing his ankle earlier. "Is it the arthritis again grandad?"I asked. "No" he replied, "The little sh*t next door has just kicked me in the bollocks." Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 21 Share #909 Posted February 21 Anger can be an expensive luxury Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 22 Share #910 Posted February 22 If your lover is overweight,then get them to walk 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening. By the end of the week the fat fooker should be 42 miles away. 1 Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 23 Share #911 Posted February 23 Spoiler-free zone: If you're not intrigued by the title 'Guy films Audi delivery,' you might be missing out on a cinematic masterpiece. Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 24 Share #912 Posted February 24 I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee to orange juice. My doctor explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugar but I really think it's the Vodka. Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 25 Share #913 Posted February 25 I hear Harrison Ford only has one testicle. Or "Hang Solo" as he likes to call it.... Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 26 Share #914 Posted February 26 Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub and died was not a bouncer Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 27 Share #915 Posted February 27 Women always worry about things that men forget ; Men always worry about things women remember.. 1 Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 28 Share #916 Posted February 28 The bloke next door wears boxing gloves when hoovering and started calling himself Dyson Fury Link to comment
Seafood Posted February 29 Share #917 Posted February 29 It's Leap Day so I leaped on the wife. The doctor says I have no broken bones, just sprains. Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 1 Share #918 Posted March 1 My Jewish mate Amos is living with a girl with tourettes,,To be honest i dont know what he sees in her,,,But then i saw the swear jar,,, Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 2 Share #919 Posted March 2 If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 3 Share #920 Posted March 3 I'm not a great fan of innuendos, however I do like to slip one in now and again Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 4 Share #921 Posted March 4 My Uncle kept referring to his wife as his little French pastry. She wasn't very happy about it. In fact, she was a cross aunt. Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 5 Share #922 Posted March 5 Just bought a flat pack wardrobe off Bonny Tyler,,My sister said whats it like ? I said,,,,,,Every now and then it falls apart,,, Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 6 Share #923 Posted March 6 The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 7 Share #924 Posted March 7 The secret of success is to offend the greatest number of people Link to comment
Seafood Posted March 8 Share #925 Posted March 8 If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done Link to comment
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