Seafood Posted July 16, 2022 #351 Posted July 16, 2022 I'm so glad it's not snowing!. Imagine shovelling snow in this heat!
Seafood Posted July 17, 2022 #352 Posted July 17, 2022 My wife said, "Did you eat my chocolate eclair in the fridge?" I said, "No, I ate it in the living room."
Seafood Posted July 18, 2022 #353 Posted July 18, 2022 Phoned my boss and asked him if I could work from home. Don't be silly mate, you're a bus driver!!"
Seafood Posted July 19, 2022 #354 Posted July 19, 2022 When the painter who had worn a jacket felt the cold, he added another coat.
Seafood Posted July 20, 2022 #355 Posted July 20, 2022 From 6 o'clock last night till 6 this morning the old lady next door played the same Lionel Richie song over and over i wouldn't mind but it was All night long.
Seafood Posted July 21, 2022 #356 Posted July 21, 2022 Bought a slow cooker from Amazon 24hr delivery, still not here after 8 weeks!
Seafood Posted July 22, 2022 #357 Posted July 22, 2022 SON : "Dad , I've got a part in the school play, I play a man who's been married for 25 years." DAD : "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part ."
Seafood Posted July 23, 2022 #358 Posted July 23, 2022 I've just dropped my cat in an ice cream maker!.. Who want's a McFluffy?
Seafood Posted July 25, 2022 #359 Posted July 25, 2022 Principal : Your child always cause trouble in school... Me : My child causes trouble at home, do I ever call you?
Seafood Posted July 26, 2022 #360 Posted July 26, 2022 I normally have just one beer when I'm bored... Yesterday I was bored 12 times!!..
Seafood Posted July 27, 2022 #361 Posted July 27, 2022 How can you face your problem! If your problem is your face?
Seafood Posted July 28, 2022 #362 Posted July 28, 2022 I dislike people that back into parking spots! Bloody attention seekers!
Seafood Posted July 29, 2022 #363 Posted July 29, 2022 Another lovely hot day!.. I'm sweating like the crew on an Alec Baldwin film set!
Seafood Posted July 30, 2022 #364 Posted July 30, 2022 I was just on a diabetes information website. It asked if I would accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
Seafood Posted July 31, 2022 #365 Posted July 31, 2022 I asked my friend when his birthday was. He said ”March 1st” I stood up and walked round the room and then asked again!!
Seafood Posted August 1, 2022 #366 Posted August 1, 2022 I've just put my Rottweiler on a vegan diet. So far I've fed him 4 of the bastards!
Seafood Posted August 2, 2022 #367 Posted August 2, 2022 Watching soaps is so boring.. There's only so long you can look at a bar of imperial leather!
Seafood Posted August 3, 2022 #368 Posted August 3, 2022 £10 fine for not showing up for your GP appointment. To be honest if you even get an appointment it feels like you've won the lottery...
Seafood Posted August 4, 2022 #369 Posted August 4, 2022 When there's a knock on the door ,why does the dog always think it's for him?.
Seafood Posted August 5, 2022 #370 Posted August 5, 2022 What a rip off, £30 quid to see a Queen tribute and it was 2 hours of an old woman in a crown waving out a car window
Seafood Posted August 6, 2022 #371 Posted August 6, 2022 I used to work at at an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Seafood Posted August 7, 2022 #372 Posted August 7, 2022 My mate always said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Until he fell into a printing press
Seafood Posted August 8, 2022 #373 Posted August 8, 2022 My dyslexic mate always wanted to be a barrister, and now he's finally achieved his dream. He's got a job pouring coffee in Starbucks
Seafood Posted August 9, 2022 #374 Posted August 9, 2022 Yorkshire Constabulary have had all of their maps stolen this morning... A police spokesperson said that they are searching for Leeds...
Seafood Posted August 10, 2022 #375 Posted August 10, 2022 I accidentally sprayed WD40 on my neck instead of sun spray. Burnt to a crisp but I can swivel my head like an owl!!
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now