English language Is Hard And Crazy Sometimes

[uk666]

English language Is Hard And Crazy Sometimes

English language speakers sometimes take for granted the structure and requirements of the language. English is part of the Indo-European language family and many of its words derive from Ancient Greek and Latin, which are also common in other languages spoken in Europe. 

However, for learners of the language, English is very difficult to learn. 

Here is why:

1. A bass was painted on the side of the bass drum.
2. A seamstress and a sewer fell into the sewer.
3. After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
4. Although I made a thorough search through the rough by the lough, I couldn’t find my golf
5. ball, as it had landed on the bough of a tree. It was so cold that day that I developed a cough
6. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend who, to some people, is a fiend?
7. I decided to present the presentation.
8. I did not object to being given that object.
9. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
10. I looked at a strange orange.
11. I love to read; I read a great book recently.
12. I met her here, where we usually meet, but neither Neil nor Mary turned up.
13. She took a break for breakfast.
14. The accountant at the music store records records of the records.
15. The bandage was wound around the wound.
16. The bin was so full that I had to refuse more refuse.
17. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
18. The farm was used to produce produce.
19. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
20. The soldier decided to desert his company in the desert after eating his dessert.
21. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
22. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
23. They were too close to the door to close it.
24. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
25. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
26. We must polish the Polish furniture.
27. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

Let's face it. English is a crazy language:

1. A house burns up as it burns down, you fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on.
2. Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
3. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. And Chinese gooseberries aren’t from China.
4. Hamburger has no ham.
5. Have noses that run and feet that smell?
6. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
7. I was taught ‘i before e except after c’. So why do I write Neil, neither, deity, science and cierge?
8. If a piano player is a pianist, is a racing car driver a racist?
9. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
10. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
11. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
12. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
13. One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
14. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
15. Ship by lorry and send cargo by ship?
16. Should we say ‘scone’ as ‘own’ or as ‘gone’?
17. Sweetmeats are sweet while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
18. Taught is the past tense of teach however, the past tense of preach is preached and not ”praught.”
19. The English words see and look mean the same thing, but oversee and overlook have different meanings.
20. There is no pine or even apple in pineapple.
21. Vegetables are the main food of vegetarians, but do humanitarians eat something else?
22. When stars are out, they are visible, but when lights are out they are invisible.
23. We’ll begin with box; the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
24. One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese, yet the plural of moose is never called meese.
25. Why do people recite in a play and play in a recital?
26. Why do we refer to a pair of spectacles or of trousers when there is only one?
27. Why do we talk about a ‘building’ when it has already been built?
28. You may found a lone mouse or a house full of mice; but the plural of house is houses, not hice.
29. The plural of man is men, but the plural of pan is never pen.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that:

1. quicksand can work slowly,
2. boxing rings are square and
3. a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that:

1. Writers write, but fingers don't fing?
2. Grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
3. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
4. One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
5. One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy:

1. That you can make amends but not one amend?
2. That you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
3. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
4. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
5. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people:

1. Recite at a play and play at a recital?
2. Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
3. Have noses that run and feet that smell?
4. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
5. while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
6. How can overlook and oversee be opposites,
7. while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
8. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

1. Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown?
2. Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
3. Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
4. And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
5. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

1. That's why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
2. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it!