Political Correctness For Kids

[uk666]

Political Correctness For Kids

Well, the summer school break is over. My niece returns to school on Monday. The last-minute touches are being placed on the reports assigned for the break.

Attention is being placed on keeping that tan just right and of course every day must be started by sleeping late.

I remind my niece that her three-week vacation is just about over. Her homework must be ready to turn in. No exceptions. She admonishes me to be more sensitive when talking to her.

To be more politically correct. In fact, she gave me this list of terms to be used for kids.

Political Correctness For Kids:

1. Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage restrictive."
2. Kids don't get in trouble anymore; they merely hit "social speed bumps."
3. You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
4. You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
5. No one's tall anymore; they're "vertically enhanced."
6. You're not shy; you're "conversationally selective."
7. You don't talk a lot; you're just "abundantly verbal."
8. It's not called gossip anymore; it's "speedy transmission of near-factual information."
9. The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful; it's "digestive challenged."
10. Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
11. You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
12. These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically disinclined."
13. No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."
14. Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
15. You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
16. You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odour retentive athletic footwear."
17. You weren't passing notes in class; you were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
18. You're not being sent to the principal's office; you're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.