Why Cats Are Better Than People

[uk666]

Why Cats Are Better Than People

1. Cats aren't threatened by a woman with short hair, or a man with long hair. 
2. Cats don't care if you're gay or straight.
3. Cats don't care what religion you are.
4. Cats don't care whether you're a conservative or a liberal.
5. Cats aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. 
6. Cats do not care whether you shave your legs. 
7. It's OK if a cat rubs up against your best friend. 
8. Cats don't have problems expressing affection in public. 
9. Cats don't need to wear the latest designer fashions.
10. Cats don't care if you wear the same t-shirt and shorts for days on end.
11. Cats won't drink beer and pass out on the bathroom floor. 
12. Cats do not read at the table, or cut out the coupons before you've read that page. 
13. Cats don't brag about whom they have slept with. 
14. Cats don't correct your stories.
15. Light petting is always enough to satisfy a cat.
16. Cats won't complain if you don't make the bed or do the dusting.
17. You don't have to worry about the toilet seat being left up.
18. Cats don't criticize your friends.
19. Cats don't feel threatened by your intelligence. 
20. You don't have to wonder if the cat is lying to you.
21. Cats don't make up stories about how big the fish was.
22. Cats don't make a practice of killing their own species.
23. Cats don't mind if you do all the driving. 
24. You don't have to live in fear that the cat will hit you.
25. Cats don't step on the imaginary brake. 
26. Cats don't weigh down your purse with their stuff. 
27. Cats (nearly) always hit the litterbox. 
28. Cats seldom interfere with other people's rights. 
29. Cats don't care if you're a few pounds overweight.
30. Your cat usually won't leave you for another human.
31. You don't have to worry that your cat will do drugs or join a gang.
32. Cats won't take permanent possession of the TV remote control.

[bluescope]

19 hours ago, uk666 said:

Cats won't drink beer and pass out on the bathroom floor. 

Erm, no - that's not strictly accurate <--- speaks a cat-lover/owner from experience

 

19 hours ago, uk666 said:

Light petting is always enough to satisfy a cat.

I'm not sure that's right. Light petting never satisfied me.

 

19 hours ago, uk666 said:

You don't have to live in fear that the cat will hit you.

Not true! Our cat has tried to kill me several times by jumping out of dark corners unexpected and getting me on my back by wrapping his arms and legs around my calf, claws fully extended and an evil look in his eyes. Mind you, the same could be said of my husband.

 

19 hours ago, uk666 said:

You don't have to worry that your cat will do drugs or join a gang.

Not sure about that one, either. Our cat is a gang, all by himself! We named him Harry Larry Denis Ralph (for Harry the Hooligan, Larry the Larrikin, Denis The Menace and Wreck-It-Ralph.

20 hours ago, uk666 said:

Cats don't need to wear the latest designer fashions.

Just as well too. He'd never get into designer jeans, he weighs 9.2 Kg. His bum would definitely look big in those.

Maz

I am woman, hear me giggle!