Politically correct genders

[uk666]

Politically correct genders

How to speak to a Woman and remain..."POLITICALLY CORRECT"

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
3. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
4. She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
5. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELLERY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
6. She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
7. She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
8. She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
9. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
10. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
11. She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
12. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
13. She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
14. She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
15. She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
16. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
17. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
18. She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
19. She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
20. She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
21. She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
22. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
23. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
24. She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
25. She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY ACCESSIBLE.
26. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
27. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
28. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
29. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
30. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
31. She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
32. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

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How to speak to a Man and remain..."POLITICALLY CORRECT"

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not QUIET - He is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
3. He is not STUPID - He suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
4. He does not get LOST ALL THE TIME - He discovers ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
5. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
6. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
7. He is not SHORT - He is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
8. He does not have a RICH DADDY - He is a RECIPIENT OF PARENTAL ASSET INFUSION.
9. He does not constantly TALK ABOUT CARS - He has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
10. He does not have a HOT BODY - He is PHYSICALLY COMBUSTABLE.
11. He is not UNSOPHISTICATED - He is SOCIALLY CHALLENGED.
12. He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
13. He does not HOG THE BLANKETS - He is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
14. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
15. He is not AFRAID OF COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
16. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
17. He does not have his HEAD UP HIS BUTT - He suffers from CRANIAL-RECTAL INVERSION.