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Contracting - Some Definitions


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Contracting - Some Definitions

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  1. Sub-Contractor - A gambler who never gets to cut, shuffle or deal.
  2. Tender Submission - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
  3. Tender Sum - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
  4. Successful Tenderer - A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
  5. Architects Estimate - The cost of construction in heaven.
  6. Management Contract - The technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
  7. Completion Date - The point at which liquidated damages begin.
  8. Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
  9. Quantity Surveyors - People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.
  10. Lawyers - People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies.
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