Why I Love Retirement

[uk666]

Why I Love Retirement

1. How many days in a week? -- 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
2. When is a retiree’s bedtime? -- Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
3. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? -- Only one, but it might take all day.
4. What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? -- Not enough time to get everything done.
5. Why don’t retirees mind being called “senior citizens?” -- The term comes with a discount.
6. What is considered formal attire among retirees? -- Shoes with laces.
7. Why do retirees count pennies? -- They have the time.
8. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? -- Nuts!
9. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? -- As soon as they do, one of their kids will want to store stuff there.
10. What do retirees call a long lunch? -- Normal.
11. What is the best way to describe retirement? -- The never-ending coffee breaks.
12. What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? -- If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
13. Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? -- He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
14. What do you do all week? -- Monday to Friday, nothing; Saturdays and Sundays, I rest!