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A Comparison Of Early 21st Century Religious Theory


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A Comparison Of Early 21st Century Religious Theory

  1. Catholicism -- He who denies himself the most toys wins.
  2. Anglican -- They were our toys first.
  3. Greek Orthodox -- No, they were OURS first.
  4. Polytheism -- There are many toy makers.
  5. Evolutionism -- The toys made themselves.
  6. Baptist -- Once played, always played.
  7. Church of Christ Scientist -- We are the toys.
  8. Communism -- Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
  9. Amish -- Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
  10. Taoism -- The doll is as important as the dump truck.
  11. Hedonism -- To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!
  12. Hinduism -- He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.
  13. 7th Day Adventist -- He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
  14. Church of Christ -- He whose toys make music loses.
  15. Calvinist -- Once played, always played.
  16. Jehovah’s Witnesses -- He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.
  17. Pentecostalism -- He whose toys can talk wins.
  18. Existentialism -- Toys are a figment of your imagination.
  19. Confucianism -- Once a toy is dipped in the water it is no longer dry.
  20. Non-denominationalism -- We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.
  21. Atheism-- There is no toy maker.
  22. Agnosticism-- It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
  23. Branch Davidians -- He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.
  24. Mormonism -- Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
  25. Voodoo -- Let me borrow that doll for a second.
  26. Apathy -- Toys? Why do I need toys?
  27. Judaism -- I’m selling toys. You buying?
  28. Church of Scientology -- Toys ‘R’ Us.
  29. Pantheism -- The universe is one great big toy.
  30. Capitalism -- He who dies with the most toys wins.
  31. Hare Krishna -- He who plays with the most toys win.
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