Feeling Stupid

[uk666]

Feeling Stupid

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius...

1. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
2. People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that's life. -- Danny DeVito, American actor and filmmaker.  
3. Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. -- Mariah Carey, American singer, songwriter, actress, record producer.
4. Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
5. I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
6. We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. -- Benjamin Franklin, America's scientist, inventor, politician, philanthropist and business man.
7. The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. -- Bertrand Russell, British philosopher.
8. Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
9. That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
10. Half this game is ninety percent mental. -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark.
11. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. -- Al Gore, American Vice President.
12. I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. -- Dan Quayle, American Vice President 
13. The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct. -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman philosopher, orator and statesman of the Roman period
14. We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need…. — Lee Iacocca, American automobile executive.
15. The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. -- Joe  Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
16. We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
17. I wouldn't say I'm a feminist, but I don't like girls pretending to be stupid because it's easier. -- Amy Winehouse, English singer and songwriter. 
18. Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances. -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina.
19. Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas. -- Keppel Enderbery, Australian politician.
20. If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record. -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
21. Men who think that a woman's past love affairs lessen her love for them are usually stupid and weak. -- Marilyn Monroe, American actress.
22. I will do whatever is necessary to make better the stupidity on my part - and therefore go after those who are acting stupid themselves. It's not popular. You don't make friends when you do that. And I couldn't care less. -- Jerry Lewis, American comedian, actor, singer, director, producer, screenwriter.