Free Tickets

[Seafood]

Dave and his new wife had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in their new apartment.
Coming home from work one night the landlady met Dave in the hallway and said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride would like to have them?"
"I'll ask her," Dave responded. He opened the door to his apartment and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight..?"
"No fecking way..!!," his bride retorted, "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going back home to my Mother!!