A man walks in a pub

[draww]

A man walks in a pub...

As he walks past the jukebox it suddenly spoke to him..."Look at the state of you! Did you get dressed in the dark? Think you stand a chance of getting laid tonight looking like that? You're an ugly bastard anyway! Even if you were wearing decent clothes you couldn't get laid if you sandwiched your tiny c*ck between two gold credit cards!"

Stunned the man made his way to the bar and ordered a pint of beer. Whilst he was waiting for his drink he realised the bowl of peanuts talking to him... "Don't pay that old jukebox any attention sir. I happen to think you look great! Classic looking attire, rugged looks, great hairstyle, first class choice of cologne! Not a chance you leave here without your choice of any woman here on your arm!"

Very confused now he recieved his pint, paid, and then when he got his pint he quietly asked the barman "What's going on with the jukebox and the peanuts?"

'Those sir?' replied the barman '...well the peanuts are complimentary, and the jukebox is out of order!'