Various Sayings, Some New, Some Old...

[uk666]

Various Sayings, Some New, Some Old...

1. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
2. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
3. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
4. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
6. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
7. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
8. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
9. I intend to live forever — so far, so good.
10. I love defenceless animals, especially in a good gravy.
11. If you aren’t making' waves, you aren’t kicking' hard enough!
12. Mental backup in progress — Do Not Disturb!
13. Mind Like a Steel Trap — Rusty and Illegal In 37 States.
14. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
15. Support bacteria — they're the only culture some people have.
16. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
17. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
18. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
19. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
20. If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
21. 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
22. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
23. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
24. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
25. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
26. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
27. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
28. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
29. I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
30. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
31. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
32. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
33. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
34. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
35. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
36. Black holes are where God divided by zero.
37. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.