Start the Year 2025 Off with a Laugh - Part 2

[uk666]

Start the Year 2025 Off with a Laugh - Part 2

1. Every New Year I have the same question: 'How did I get home last year?'
2. New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
3. In the New Year, never forget to thank your past years because they enabled you to reach today! Without the stairs of the past, you cannot arrive at the future.
4. New Year, new you. Just kidding. Here’s to another year of being fabulously the same you as last year.
5. Time to stop the bad diets, stop the self-loathing, and stop being so hard on myself – tomorrow! Happy New Year!
6. My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my TV.
7. May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
8. This new year, be at peace with your appearances, you'll just end up confused with wishful thinking anyways.
9. My goal for 2025 is to accomplish the goals of 2024, which I should have done in 2023, because I made a promise in 2022 and planned in 2021!
10. New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls, and humbug resolutions.
11. We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives, not looking for flaws, but for potential.
12. My resolution is to create a world where there are so many Mondays disguised as Fridays; no one will notice when I have ice cream for breakfast.
13. The world gets a new year, you get a new phoenix, so don’t let your ashes control your rising.
14. I usually make resolutions that are a little easier to keep, like getting enough rest, telling more jokes, or mastering the art of the freakishly big smile while eating cake.
15. Drum rolls and fireworks are all that’s needed to know the New Year is here. Or is it just a successful way to distract us from forming actual resolutions?
16. You know you’re getting old when you celebrate New Year’s by keeping one eye on the ball drop and the other on your pyjamas.
17. I will quit procrastinating…at some point this year.
18. I resolve to accomplish things I’ve wanted to do for years like waking up before noon on a weekend or high fiving myself when no one’s looking.
19. My resolution: something about avoiding bacon-wrapped quiches just this one time (but only because they taught me once again that eating well is possible only in theory).
20. It’s time to release your inner rebel and do a resolution that stands out from the rest: Plan to break the limits of your to-do list only to add more to it.