Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings to Keep Your Spirits Bright

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Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings to Keep Your Spirits Bright

Make the family laugh with these short quotes.

1. As Kevin's mom declares in the Christmas classic Home Alone, "This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope!" we also know that Christmas can also be the season of perpetual stress!
2. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. ~ Bob Phillips.
3. My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. ~ Melanie White.
4. Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. ~ Erma Bombeck.
5. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~ Garrison Keillor.
6. Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up. ~ Wendy Cope.
7. Next to a circus there aren’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~ Kin Hubbard.
8. Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ~ Andy Borowitz.
9. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~ Shirley Temple.
10. That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. ~ Jerry Seinfeld.
11. Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge.
12. One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone, and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books. ~ J.K. Rowling.
13. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. ~ Maya Angelou.