Delightful All Blacks Haka

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Delightful All Blacks Haka

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being motivated by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The IRB Rugby World Cup Organising Committee has now agreed to the following displays:

1. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone can beat them now.
2. The Scotland team will chant, 'You lookin' at me Jimmy?' before smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.
3. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a 'Riverdance', while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.
4. Unfortunately, the Committee was unable to accept the Welsh suggestion, because Committee could not understand what there were on about.
5. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own 'as In-Goals Areas' and then be forcibly removed by the Stewards.
6. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will force to huddle in their in-goal area whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.
7. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film.
8. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.
9. The Italian team will arrive in red p*n*s-substituting cars, sexually harass the female Stewards, and then run away.
10. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European 'grass 'They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time, when their appeal for compensation against the UK Government will be heard.

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