Witticisms of Skoda, Pre-Volkswagen

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Witticisms of Skoda, Pre-Volkswagen

Skoda used to be an Eastern Bloc manufacturer before that were taken over in 1991 by the Volkswagen. These witticisms were told in Skoda's pre-Volkswagen days. Now however, Skoda has changed for the better.

Pre-Volkswagen days, the cars they made were cheap and nasty, hence the witticisms: 

1. What do you call a Skoda with twin exhausts, .........a wheelbarrow
2. What's the difference between a Skoda and a golf ball, .........you can drive a golf ball 200 yards
3. What do you call a Skoda convertible, .........a skip.
4. What do you call a turbo power Skoda, .........a lawnmower.
5. What's the difference between a Skoda and a Jehovah's witness, .........you can shut the door on a Jehovah's witness.
6. What is the difference between a school and a Skoda, .........schools break up and a Skoda breaks down
7. Why is a Skoda and a baby similar, .........they both never go anywhere without a rattle
8. What colour shall I get my Skoda in, .........it doesn't matter, it'll go brown through rust after a week
9. What do you call an Australian who drives a Skoda, .........Czech Mate
10. How do you double the value of a Skoda, .........put petrol in it.
11. Heard about the latest 16-valve Skoda, .........8 in the engine, 1 on each wheel and 4 in the radio!
12. What do you call a Skoda rally, .........a scrapyard.
13. A Skoda driver walks into Halfords. He says to the assistant on the parts counter, I'm looking for a clutch cable for my new Skoda, .........the salesman thinks for a moment. Sounds like a fair swap he replies.
14. What do you call a Skoda on a motorway, .........ambitious.
15. What do you call a Skoda at the top of a steep hill, .........a miracle.
16. What do you call two Skoda’s at the top of a steep hill, .........a mirage.
17. What do you call a Skoda halfway up a steep hill, .........a social climber.
18. Why does a Skoda have a heated rear window, .........to keep your hands warm when you push it.
19. Why is a Tampax better than a Skoda, .........because the Tampax comes with its own tow rope!
20. What do you call a Skoda dealer, .........a scrap merchant.
21. Why do squirrels always chase Skoda’s, .........to pick up the nuts.
22. Heard of Skoda's new turbo model, .........It has pedals in the backseat, too!
23. What's situated on the highway and saying wrom, wrom, .........a Skoda, which is stuck to some chewing gum.
24. What is the difference between the flu and a Skoda, .........it is possible to get rid of the flu.
25. How do you make a Skoda disappear, .........you spray it with rust-remover!
26. A Skoda can reach a speed of 140 km/h, .........if it's transported on the railway.
27. Did you know that the Skoda's instruction book contains 500 pages, .........there are two pages with information about the car and 498 pages with bus- and railroad-routes.
28. Do you know what all the Skoda owners are dreaming about, .........getting a ticket for speeding.
29. From a newspaper: To the man who stole my Skoda in 20 degrees of frost, .........keep the Skoda, but please tell me how you started it.
30. Did you know that there are only two men working in the Skoda factory, .........one with scissors and one with glue.
31. Do you know what the trip-counter in the Skoda says when it's passing 20,000 km, .........GAME OVER!!
32. How do you double the value of a Skoda, .........chuck a penny into it.
33. There is a big competition at my local pub the first prize is a Skoda, .........the second prize is two Skoda’s!
34. How do you double the value of a Skoda, .........fill the tank!
35. Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater, .........to keep everyone’s hands warm when they are pushing it!
36. I had to part with my Skoda as it was costing too much, .........I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!!
37. What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Skoda, .........the pricks are on the outside of the hedgehog!

To be fair, as Auto Express Magazine said in the early Nineties: 
Out of all the VW, Audi, Skoda and Seat models, Skoda always come out top in the customer satisfaction surveys, and when launched in 2000, the original Fabia knocked the pants off every other supermini in the class, and even 18 months later when VW based their new Polo on it, the Skoda still kicked its 'arris in every group test.