Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence

[uk666]

Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence

1. Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear bomb; use the stairs.
2. When you're flying through the air, remember to roll when you hit the ground.
3. Remember, duck and cover. It won't save your life, but it will hopefully keep your remains in one spot so you can be identified later.
4. If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
5. Don't attempt communications with dead people; it will only lead to psychological problems.
6. Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge. Learn to recognize foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed potatoes, shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.
7. Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.
8. Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles.
9. If you're walking down a neighbourhood and you don't see any children wandering around, leave immediately. If it's not safe enough for the kids, it isn’t safe for you.
10. Drive carefully in 'Heavy Fallout' areas; people could be staggering illegally.
11. Nutritionally, hundred-dollar bills are equal to ones, but more sanitary due to limited circulation.
12. Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply on D-DAY.
13. Don't walk on the roadside, your goanna get hit
14. The most important thing you can ever do in a potentially life-threatening situation is breathe (when possible) and focus on doing things, calmly. "You can always freak out later. Panic AFTER you survive."
15. That's really about all you can do as far as I know. you're free to pray if you want to, but it won't help.