Wittiest Sex Quotes Ever

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Wittiest Sex Quotes Ever

1. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. ~ Woody Allen
2. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. ~ Tom Clancy
3. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
4. There are several mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. ~ Lynn Lavner
5. Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist. ~ Matt Barry
6. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. ~ George Burns
7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. ~ Sharon Stone
8. My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading. ~ Steve Jobs
9. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. ~ Jack Nicholson
10. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. ~ George Burns
11. Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. ~ Barbara Bush
12. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a p*n*s, and only enough blood to run one at a time. ~ Robin Williams
13. Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. ~ Roseanne Barr
14. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. ~ Billy Crystal
15. According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. ~ Robert De Niro