30 Sayings To Make You Grin

[uk666]

30 Sayings To Make You Grin

1. my husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was god and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8. beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot but some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. Don’t count the days, make the days count.
13. God must love stupid people; he made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots
19. Procrastinate now!
20. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it pms because mad cow disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
30. A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose