Underwear

[Seafood]

When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

a. When it has turned the color of a dead whale & developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.

b. When it is down to 8 loosely connected underwear molecules & has to be handled with tweezers.

c. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody - & we are not naming names, but this would be his wife - is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.