12 Rules Of Etiquette For Man

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12 Rules Of Etiquette For Man

Practicing good etiquette used to be a simple thing, but then, so was life before Covid, and cancel culture.

It wasn’t long ago when meeting a guy or girl meant shaking their hand. Up until now, holding a door open for someone was gentlemanly and not possibly an act of latent sexism. 

If you’d lunch with a friend, you’d keep your phone out of sight (or you didn’t bring it, imagine). Today, though, things aren’t quite the same. 

We lunch with our phones plunked face-up on the table lest we get a text that won't really matter. We balk when a woman needs a hand because what if she takes it the wrong way? Worst of all (but least worthy of judgment), some of us have no clue what to do in a situation that calls for proper, gentlemanly etiquette. 

Where does a dignified man stand in all of this? 
In these times of tumult, to stay true to one’s core values means rowing upstream like a madman. Doing such a thing is hard, but no good comes from relinquishing who you are… as long as that’s a righteous guy who does good even when it’s not easy. 

That’s why etiquette matters: it’s not the thing you’re doing like placing a dinner napkin on your lap it’s the fact you’re doing something, anything, that preserves self-discipline and respect, both of which are key in keeping what matters in your sights.

Be the man who stands out the right way and never slack on the following 10 rules of modern etiquette, or risk forgoing your very purpose in this damned place.

I. PUT AWAY AND MUTE YOUR PHONE WHEN SPENDING TIME WITH SOMEONE
Get this: According to a spring 2021 piece on review.org, a site that vets the quality of consumer electronics, “Americans check their phones 262 times a day.” 

For you stat heads, that works out to once every 5.5 minutes, but many of us are worse than that and we know it. That same article which surveyed Americans 18-years-old and up shows that 47% can’t resist using their phones on dates. 

Should any of you wonder why it’s rude to use your phone when sharing time with someone (with “time” in this context being going on a date or hanging with a friend or family member), here’s why: Beyond something physical like a house, time and attention are our most precious assets in a world that sheds attention by the day. 

2. DON’T TEXT ‘EM PAST 10 P.M. 
A lot of you are like, “But it’s text; they get to choose when to read it.” Fair, but are you privy to their sleeping schedule? And what if they don’t silence their phone at night? Play it safe here and text the next day if it’s 10 at night or later. And if it’s someone you’d like to date, a good gap of time or two between texts is a good thing; you’re important, you’re busy, and you’re not needy, so wait it out. Nothing will happen. 

Exception(s): 

• Emergencies.

If it’s late but you want to contact a significant other, a friend or a family member and they don’t care, then go nuts.

3. TAKE OFF YOUR HAT WHEN VISITING FOLKS
You don’t want to be the guy who gets cut eye from the in-laws for keeping his fitted on in their house. They don’t give a sh*t it’s an exclusive with a grey bottom and a World Series side patch, and nor should you. Be a man and take off your hat. And if they tell you, it’s no big deal, keep it off anyway. They’ll remember that. And we don’t need to mention hats at the dinner table. 

4. PROOFREAD YOUR EMAILS BEFORE SENDING THEM
Because “your assets” could turn into “your a$#” by the time it makes its way to your client’s inbox. Read your emails once, maybe even twice, before you hit “send.” 

5. DON’T BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE, IF YOUR HOST DOESN’T REQUEST AS MUCH
You know the guy who shows up at your house a packed with his favourite brew? That guy would be cool if he didn’t do this as the only guest.

Otherwise, showing up with a personal bucket of booze says you don’t trust the host to stock what’s good. That’s just douche. Never byob if it wasn’t requested. Same goes for food. 

6. THE HAND SHAKE SITUATION
Unneeded is an explanation as to why this is a thing, so let’s be simple about it: If it’s someone you know well a friend, a cousin, your weed guy, etc. and you’re certain they don’t mind, then shake hands at will. 

If you don’t know the person you’re meeting and feel principled about preserving this age-old gesture of respect, just ask. 

If they say “no,” then accept their position with a kind tone and a smile and slowly move your hand back down. This shows you’re cool with whatever situation presents itself and that makes for good company.

But whatever you do, don’t fist bump the person and don’t knock elbows with them, either. That sort of thing looks immature and you’re a grown-a$# man. 

7. HOW TO STILL WIN AT CHIVALRY WITHOUT GETTING ACCUSED OF BEING SEXIST
What, you thought this wasn’t going to get spicy? The rise of post-modernism has seen tradition face a firing squad of not just relevance, but existence, too. Some of this makes sense; If there’s a statue erect of a person who was, in fact, total garbage as a human being in a public place of influence, then bring it down. 

But that doesn’t mean we should torch all that’s old-world. Chivalry (which needn’t only apply to women, you know) is such a thing, and when it’s practiced with pure intentions, few resist its charm.

That said, chivalries evolved since its sepia-tinted days of suit jackets doubling as lily pads. At its core, chivalry is the kinetic act of sharing your positive energy with someone without expecting a thing in return. 

8. HOLDING A DOOR OPEN
Always take an L doing what’s right, or you’ll lament doing nothing at all. Case in point, the classic door hold.

Today, holding a door could imply one thing to one person and another thing to another, but you can rest assured most will be warmed by the gesture… regardless whether they thank you or not.

 And in the odd event you’re accused of shoehorning your masculinity into a situation where the other person could’ve handled the door just fine, just nod and smile and carry on with your glorious day as a man of value. At the most, you made their day, and at the least, you did your part.

9. HELPING SOMEONE OUT OF A CAR
Try this unsung classic on your next date. Once you arrive to the venue, get out of the Uber car first and, while facing your date, extend your hand like you’re prince charming. They’ll stare at you in shock, only it’ll be the good kind because no, no one does this sh*t anymore. Clench up when they grab your hand and smile while you help them out.

If, however, you’re Ubering with a co-worker, only offer your hand in aid if she or he absolutely needs it. Is one of their hands managing five bags while the other struggles for leverage? Will they step right into a puddle if you don’t? You get it.

10. REMOVING SOMEONE’S COAT FOR THEM
Like the blurb above, be sure to announce this before you act. At the same time, you don’t want to ask to take their coat lest you sound unsure of yourself. It’s a weak look.

When you walk into a joint with her, say this: “Here, I’ll get your coat.” It’s short, it’s timeless, and she’ll love it. And if she’s a Gloria Steinem fan and spews acid at you, run for your life. 

11. PAYING FOR THE FIRST DATE
Imagine just how many fights this one topic caused in the West. And yet, with everything our movement our society’s championed in the name of equality, how many straight women would object to having a man who provides more than she does? Not only would she agree with having such a dynamic in place, she’d like it. 

Let’s clear the crap off the table and face this one head on, if you're a masculine man with two balls, it’s expected of you lead where a leader’s needed, whether it’s work or at home. Such are the rules, and this who object can blame it all on the tens of thousands of years of human evolution.

If you can’t show protection, leadership, and the ability to provide on the first date, straight, gay, or otherwise, you won’t last a boxer’s round.

12. GRABBING THEM AN UBER POST-DATE (OR THE NEXT MORNING)
If the date went well, get them home safely. It doesn’t matter if they’re leaving the bar or your place, just do it. The exception to forgo cabbing them home is henceforth: They behaved like an unconscionable a$#, in which case you should leave at the first sign. You’ve got no time for that.