Unconventional Treatment for Excessive Parental Frustration...LOL

[uk666]

Unconventional Treatment for Excessive Parental Frustration...

When your kids are driving your bananas, consider calling the psychiatric hotline to take your mind off your worries at home.

TELEPHONE: Ring, Ring, ...

RECORDING: 'Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

1. If you are Obsessive-Compulsive: please press 1, repeatedly.
2. If you are Co-Dependent: please ask someone to press 2.
3. If you have Multiple Personalities: please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
4. If you are paranoid-delusional: we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.
5. If you a Schizophrenic: listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
6. If you are a Manic-Depressive: it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer."

Stress-Relievers for Exhausted, Desperate, and Frustrating parents:

1. Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
3. When someone says, "have a nice day," tell them you've made other plans.
4. Make a "thing to do" list of things you have already done.
5. Drive to work in reverse.
6. Pound your head repeatedly on a pile of lightly toasted Wonder bread.
7. Read the dictionary upside-down and look for secret messages.
8. Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
9. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
10. Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
11. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing is wrong.
12. Start a "Rodents of North collection."
13. Tape pictures of your boss to watermelons and launch them from high places.
14. Put a bag on your head and mark it "Closed for Remodelling."
15. Write your next memo in Pig Latin.