20 Finest Drinking Quotes

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20 Finest Drinking Quotes

Can’t remember your own drinking quotes by the time the next morning rolls around? Luckily, we rounded up the best ones for you. 

Whether you want to show off at the city's best bars or just need a caption for your holiday cocktail photos on Instagram.

Here’s a handy list of the funniest, wisest and drunkest drinking quotes out there:

1. Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. ~ Homer Simpson
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ George Carlin
3. I drink to make other people more interesting. ~ Ernest Hemingway
4. After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. ~ Oscar Wilde
5. A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. ~ Charlie Chaplin
6. Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. ~ Thomas Jefferson
7. The more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink. ~ Phoebe Buffay, Friends
8. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemingway
9. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
10. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~ Dean Martin
11. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. ~ Mark Twain
12. Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky and a dog to eat the rare steak. ~ Johnny Carson
13. Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. ~ Steve Martin
14. There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. ~ Lt. Archie Hicox, Inglourious Basterds
15. Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
16. Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. ~ Alex Hitch, Hitch
17. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. ~ Frank Sinatra
18. The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk, they are sober. ~ William Butler Yeats
19. My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they’re going to do for the next five or 10 years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking. ~ Amy Winehouse
20. Shaken, not stirred. ~ James Bond, Goldfinger