The Old Woman And The Gunslinger

[uk666]

The Old Woman And The Gunslinger

She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.

As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, "Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance . . . never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, old bag you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. The old woman not wanting to get her toes blown off, started hopping around. Everybody was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said:

"Son, have you ever kissed a mule's butt before?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said:

"No, Ma’am, but... I've always wanted to."

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1. Never be arrogant.
2. Don't waste ammunition.
3. Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4. Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old, by being stupid.
5. You should be careful when choosing your opponents. Some people are not worth the trouble.
6. If you overstep your bounds, people will think you’re trying to take too much power. They’ll rebel against you.
7. When you speak, always try to say as little as possible. The more you speak, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
8. When you put yourself in front of the world and show off your talents, you naturally provoke all kinds of resentment. So, be humble.