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Retired


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You Are Probably Retired If....
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
Getting "lucky" means you remember where you left your car .
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt; doesn't work.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
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