Just for Laughs

[Seafood]

A woman took her car to her mechanic.

She told him " Everytime I take my friends out in my car, there is this terrible smell. It never happens when I'm alone".

The mechanic was puzzled, so he said " Ok so let's go for a spin and see what the problem is."

Off they went. She droved down a one way street in the wrong direction at 60 mph, swerved, hit the curb on both sides of the street, narrowly missed three pedestrian, ran several red lights, and just missed a policeman. They returned to the shop and she said, " There it is now - there's that terrible smell. Can you smell it?".

The mechanic replied " smell it?, Lady, I'm sitting in it."

[Seafood]

Mac the sailor docked at New York after a frustrating 3-month voyage. Unfortunately he'd lost most of his pay playing poker on board ship, so when he eventually found a lady of the night all he could offer her was 50 cents & a pair of sneakers.

She refused with disdain.

He wandered around in search of a more accommodating girl, but was refused time & time again. Eventually he found a more sympathetic lady who told him that although she could not possibly accept his offer herself, he could always try Mabel down the road. But she warned him not to expect too much as Mabel was very unresponsive & would probably just lie there passively.

He found Mabel & as times were hard she reluctantly agreed to accept the 50 cents & the pair of sneakers for her services, but told him not to expect any kind of response from her.

Mac began the amorous act & after a few minutes was please to find an arm coming around his back. This was followed shortly after by a leg curling around his rear.

Mac, who had always fancied himself a bit of a Romeo, gasped, "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms." "Don't worry about me, love," answered Mabel, "I'm just trying on the sneakers."