Seafood Posted May 29, 2024 #1001 Posted May 29, 2024 Next time my wife asks me to open a jar, I'm gonna tell her I have a headache. 1
Seafood Posted May 31, 2024 #1002 Posted May 31, 2024 My neighbor just yelled so loud at her kids that even I went inside and made my bed 1
Seafood Posted June 1, 2024 #1003 Posted June 1, 2024 I used to date a girl with a lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side. 2
Seafood Posted June 2, 2024 #1004 Posted June 2, 2024 My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills. 1
Seafood Posted June 3, 2024 #1005 Posted June 3, 2024 Everyone told Sam not to sing. But Samsung anyway. 1
Seafood Posted June 4, 2024 #1006 Posted June 4, 2024 Just found out that I’m colorblind… The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. 1 1
Seafood Posted June 5, 2024 #1007 Posted June 5, 2024 My grandma is 80% Irish. People call her Iris 1 1
Seafood Posted June 8, 2024 #1009 Posted June 8, 2024 I told my doctor I was deaf in one ear. He said, “Are you sure?” I said, “I'm definite!” 1
Seafood Posted June 9, 2024 #1010 Posted June 9, 2024 Before you marry a person, you should first make them use computer with a slow internet to see how they really are 1
Seafood Posted June 10, 2024 #1011 Posted June 10, 2024 I got a job as an Astronaut, but they said i was a waste of space,,, 1
Seafood Posted June 11, 2024 #1012 Posted June 11, 2024 Went out last night and had a pelican curry, the food was all right, but the bill was huge! 1
Seafood Posted June 12, 2024 #1013 Posted June 12, 2024 Look my answer is Yes... unless it's not then it'll probably be no!! 1
Seafood Posted June 13, 2024 #1014 Posted June 13, 2024 The weather was brilliant yesterday, so l got out my 7 piece patio set. 1 chair & 6 cans of lager. 1
Seafood Posted June 14, 2024 #1015 Posted June 14, 2024 The good die young support great ormand street 1
Seafood Posted June 16, 2024 #1016 Posted June 16, 2024 The Prime Minister held a meeting with the cabinet today.He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers. 1
Seafood Posted June 18, 2024 #1018 Posted June 18, 2024 “Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.” 1
Seafood Posted June 19, 2024 #1019 Posted June 19, 2024 You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.
Seafood Posted June 20, 2024 #1020 Posted June 20, 2024 I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again
Seafood Posted June 21, 2024 #1021 Posted June 21, 2024 “Two fish in a tank. One says: ‘How do you drive this thing?’”
Seafood Posted June 22, 2024 #1022 Posted June 22, 2024 “I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.”
Seafood Posted June 23, 2024 #1023 Posted June 23, 2024 I had a bowl of maize. It took me an hour to get my spoon back out.
Seafood Posted June 24, 2024 #1024 Posted June 24, 2024 I said to my wife i had fresh salmon for my lunch,,She said was it wild ? I said,Well i dont think it was very happy,,,
Seafood Posted June 25, 2024 #1025 Posted June 25, 2024 Never blame someone for the road you're on.. That's your own asphalt.
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