Seafood Posted August 16, 2023 #726 Posted August 16, 2023 I'm not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.
Seafood Posted August 17, 2023 #727 Posted August 17, 2023 How to make your marriage work' First put up a good fight for the first 7-10 years & then nod and agree
Seafood Posted August 18, 2023 #728 Posted August 18, 2023 My wife just bought a new answering machine... She's wondering what question to ask it ? 1
Seafood Posted August 19, 2023 #729 Posted August 19, 2023 Whoever said 'laughter is the best medicine' never suffered from erectile dysfunction.
Seafood Posted August 20, 2023 #730 Posted August 20, 2023 I bought a flat pack wardrobe from Bonnie Tyler. Every now and then it falls apart...
Seafood Posted August 21, 2023 #731 Posted August 21, 2023 At the barbers today, I asked to have my hair cut the way Tom Cruise does!.. So he gave me a cushion to sit on!
Seafood Posted August 22, 2023 #732 Posted August 22, 2023 In the event of a nuclear war the only things that will survive are the cockroaches. Which means Britain should still have a functioning government.
Seafood Posted August 23, 2023 #733 Posted August 23, 2023 I got back from work to find the kids have been on Ebay all day... If they're still there tomorrow I'll try lowering the price..
Seafood Posted August 24, 2023 #734 Posted August 24, 2023 If a vegan and a vegetarian jump off a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first, then who wins?.....Society
Seafood Posted August 25, 2023 #735 Posted August 25, 2023 My wife came in while I was watching the football she said, "Aww, is this the Paralympics?" I said, "No, it's Liverpool.
Seafood Posted August 26, 2023 #736 Posted August 26, 2023 I was gutted when my cat drowned in the washing machine... At least he died in Comfort!
Seafood Posted August 28, 2023 #737 Posted August 28, 2023 Did you know........ Kids are the most expensive things you can get for free. 1
Seafood Posted August 29, 2023 #738 Posted August 29, 2023 There's funny noises coming from my teapot. It sounds like thunder and lightning to me... I think it must be a storm brewing! 1
Seafood Posted August 30, 2023 #739 Posted August 30, 2023 I've just told my boss i want a pay rise as i have 3 other companies chasing me. He said "Who"? I said "Gas, Electric and Water".
Seafood Posted August 31, 2023 #740 Posted August 31, 2023 Just off for a first date with a gourmet platter in my hand. Her profile said she likes a man with mussels.. Wish me luck!
Seafood Posted September 1, 2023 #741 Posted September 1, 2023 Private math tuition. £10 an hour or three hours for a fiver!!
Seafood Posted September 2, 2023 #742 Posted September 2, 2023 Bought a lamp stand from IKEA. Was asked by the girl on the till, ‘If I was putting it up myself’ I said "No, I'm putting it in my lounge luv’ 1
Seafood Posted September 3, 2023 #743 Posted September 3, 2023 First rule of Rick Astley Fight Club... You know the rules, and so do I!
Seafood Posted September 4, 2023 #744 Posted September 4, 2023 I'm not saying I'm ugly but people used to say to my mum"What a lovely pram"“
Seafood Posted September 5, 2023 #745 Posted September 5, 2023 Children brighten up your home because they never turn the bloody lights off! 1
Seafood Posted September 6, 2023 #746 Posted September 6, 2023 I was looking through a dictionary and I think I've just found what could be the worst page in it. .....What I read was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous..
Seafood Posted September 7, 2023 #747 Posted September 7, 2023 I had a lovely 12" Pizza last night, he said you want it cut into 6 or 8 pieces, i said 6 i could never eat 8
Seafood Posted September 8, 2023 #748 Posted September 8, 2023 If all dentists make money from bad teeth... Why should we use toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend?
Seafood Posted September 9, 2023 #749 Posted September 9, 2023 Wouldn’t say stabbings are getting out of hand in my local pub, but they’ve renamed it 'Wetherknives.'
Seafood Posted September 10, 2023 #750 Posted September 10, 2023 Liverpool are top of the league.. According to this month's national crime statistics
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now