Seafood Posted February 9, 2022 #126 Posted February 9, 2022 Finally! I made some decent money as a photographer . . . I sold my camera
Seafood Posted February 11, 2022 #127 Posted February 11, 2022 Not many people believed in my ability. But after the loss of 14 pounds in 5 weeks I have done it. Fixed the hole in my pocket.
Seafood Posted February 11, 2022 #128 Posted February 11, 2022 My friend asked me "Where I could meet women who scream loudly in bed?" So I took him to the maternity ward!
Seafood Posted February 13, 2022 #129 Posted February 13, 2022 Beware of Valentine scams out there!.. I ordered my wife some jewelry and they sent me a fishing rod!!
Seafood Posted February 14, 2022 #130 Posted February 14, 2022 Roses are red, Violets are nice. I’ll buy some tomorrow when they’re half fecking price!
Seafood Posted February 15, 2022 #131 Posted February 15, 2022 Today It's been exactly 2 years since my job interview ... I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else!
Seafood Posted February 16, 2022 #132 Posted February 16, 2022 Men and women were created equal, . . . but women continued to improve !
MMT Posted February 18, 2022 #133 Posted February 18, 2022 How many times do I have to click "I accept"" cookies" before they send them to me? 1
MMT Posted February 18, 2022 #134 Posted February 18, 2022 Tripped and hit my head on a snare drum. Now I think I have percussion.
Seafood Posted February 18, 2022 #135 Posted February 18, 2022 Just found a oyster in my back garden.. It must be the clam before the storm!
Seafood Posted February 19, 2022 #136 Posted February 19, 2022 Not much on telly tonight so I'm gonna ask the wife if she fancy's a early headache!!..
MMT Posted February 20, 2022 #137 Posted February 20, 2022 Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?
MMT Posted February 20, 2022 #138 Posted February 20, 2022 Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 1
Seafood Posted February 20, 2022 #139 Posted February 20, 2022 Just seen a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit. It was a lamb bikini
MMT Posted February 21, 2022 #140 Posted February 21, 2022 I have just seen a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap
MMT Posted February 21, 2022 #141 Posted February 21, 2022 My wife is in the kitchen sorting out her purse ... she has just started screaming and swearing, I think she is going through the change
Seafood Posted February 21, 2022 #142 Posted February 21, 2022 Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub and died was not a bouncer!!.. 1 2
MMT Posted February 22, 2022 #143 Posted February 22, 2022 I got sacked from Pets at Home when they caught me with my hands in the Trill.
Seafood Posted February 22, 2022 #144 Posted February 22, 2022 Convince people you're in Riverdance by gluing your wrist to your waist and trying to flick dog sh*t off your shoe!!..
MMT Posted February 23, 2022 #145 Posted February 23, 2022 I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only wanted to rough him up a bit. 2
Seafood Posted February 23, 2022 #146 Posted February 23, 2022 When my girlfriend moved away i wrote her letters everyday, She married the postman 1
Seafood Posted February 24, 2022 #147 Posted February 24, 2022 I hear a Pepsi worker got the sack today. He tested positive for coke.
MMT Posted February 24, 2022 #148 Posted February 24, 2022 A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche 1
MMT Posted February 24, 2022 #149 Posted February 24, 2022 A woman standing nude in front of her mirror says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment ...." he replies, 'your eyesight is perfect'. 1
MMT Posted February 25, 2022 #150 Posted February 25, 2022 I know how to build a pyramid. Up to a point. 1
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