Seafood Posted November 23, 2023 Share #826 Posted November 23, 2023 I ate a kids meal in McDonald’s this morning. His mother was furious. Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 24, 2023 Share #827 Posted November 24, 2023 My wife's shopping addiction is getting out of control. Last night I found a naked man in her wardrobe. Honestly she'll buy anything! Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 25, 2023 Share #828 Posted November 25, 2023 All these cyclists saying its good for you, they are always peddling something Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 26, 2023 Share #829 Posted November 26, 2023 The most common sexual position for married couples is doggy style. Where the husband sits & begs, while the wife rolls over & plays dead! Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 27, 2023 Share #830 Posted November 27, 2023 I've just bought a Jehovah's witness advent calendar... Every time I open a door on it someone tells me to fuc off! Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 28, 2023 Share #831 Posted November 28, 2023 I crossed a Crocodile with a Budgie,, It bit me leg off,and said,,,Who,s a naughty boy, Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 29, 2023 Share #832 Posted November 29, 2023 I got sacked from PC World today. A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing to finding your ancestors and I said a shovel Link to comment
Seafood Posted November 30, 2023 Share #833 Posted November 30, 2023 BEWARE, Calvin Klein has a cunning plan to make us buy more underware. I saw the price of their boxers and shat myself. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 1, 2023 Share #834 Posted December 1, 2023 When you accidentally click a random name in your chat list then you're shocked because you had a convo a few years ago. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 2, 2023 Share #835 Posted December 2, 2023 Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy! Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 3, 2023 Share #836 Posted December 3, 2023 If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time? Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 4, 2023 Share #837 Posted December 4, 2023 Lying in bed listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 6, 2023 Share #838 Posted December 6, 2023 I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 7, 2023 Share #839 Posted December 7, 2023 The good news.... I've made it to the golden years. The bad news... there ain't no gold. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 8, 2023 Share #840 Posted December 8, 2023 I was always amazed by Jesus' biblical miracle with loaves and fishes. That was until I realised what Walker's could do with one potato. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 9, 2023 Share #841 Posted December 9, 2023 I was going out with a woman who was a spiritulist and medium but when she said she was seeing other people that was the end of that Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 10, 2023 Share #842 Posted December 10, 2023 The first guy that persuaded a blind person that they needed sunglasses must have been a talented salesman. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 11, 2023 Share #843 Posted December 11, 2023 GREAT NEWS. Bing Crosby , Don Partridge, Mary Hopkins , and Lee Hazelwood, have asked me to join their group to sing carols this year, this is very exclusive, just Bing Don Mary Lee and I. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 12, 2023 Share #844 Posted December 12, 2023 Dear McVities, I really love your Chocolate Digestives. However the top biscuit is always broken. Have you thought of leaving that one out the packet? Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 13, 2023 Share #845 Posted December 13, 2023 I could never work in the Jobcentre. Imagine if you got fired... You'd still have to show up the next day! Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 14, 2023 Share #846 Posted December 14, 2023 A man and a woman can be just friends with no sex involved... It's called marriage! Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 15, 2023 Share #847 Posted December 15, 2023 My first time travelling by air was from a Mango tree to the ground. Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 16, 2023 Share #848 Posted December 16, 2023 Had really mixed emotions when the missus told me i was going to be a father for the first time... We already had two kids Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 17, 2023 Share #849 Posted December 17, 2023 An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 note. Which one picked it up and took it to a police station? Santa! The other two don't exist! Link to comment
Seafood Posted December 19, 2023 Share #850 Posted December 19, 2023 If you think girls are dramatic then you've never seen a guy lose in a video game~ Link to comment
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