Seafood Posted April 27, 2022 Share #276 Posted April 27, 2022 I had a right fright just now. I was in the bath reading a ghost story ,next thing I felt a tap on my shoulder Link to comment
Seafood Posted April 28, 2022 Share #277 Posted April 28, 2022 One flea says to the other will we walk or take the Dog. Link to comment
Seafood Posted April 30, 2022 Share #278 Posted April 30, 2022 My parrot's feet keep slipping of the perch. So, I asked my dentist if he had samples of 'Polly Grip', to see if that would help. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 1, 2022 Share #279 Posted May 1, 2022 My Dad taught us to swim by throwing us in the canal. The hardest part was getting out the tied up sack. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 2, 2022 Share #280 Posted May 2, 2022 Arguing with a woman is like being arrested, anything you say can & will be used against you. So use your right to remain silent. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 3, 2022 Share #281 Posted May 3, 2022 I really don't mind going to work . . . But the eight hour wait to go home again is just bullshit! Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 4, 2022 Share #282 Posted May 4, 2022 I hate it when i'm singing along to a song on the radio and the artist gets the lyrics wrong Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 5, 2022 Share #283 Posted May 5, 2022 Bullying Support Group meeting, tonight at 8 o'clock. You'd better fuccing be there....OR ELSE! Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 6, 2022 Share #284 Posted May 6, 2022 Did u know Diana Dors had a younger sister called Erin? She didnt get out much! Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 7, 2022 Share #285 Posted May 7, 2022 Johnny the serial flasher decided to retire but then changed his mind and decided to stick it out for another year. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 9, 2022 Share #287 Posted May 9, 2022 Amazing how people say they wont watch women's football because the standard is so low, but they'll still watch the Man Utd men's team? Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 10, 2022 Share #288 Posted May 10, 2022 Three years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 11, 2022 Share #289 Posted May 11, 2022 Took the girlfriend to the cinema to watch the new Godzilla movie ! Afterwards she was in the cinema foyer Signing autographs for three hours !! Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 12, 2022 Share #290 Posted May 12, 2022 I went to the Doctors again today and said "Doctor my hands keep shaking all the time"! He said "Do you drink a lot of alcohol"? I said "No i spill most of it". Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 13, 2022 Share #291 Posted May 13, 2022 Ive got a feeling my new girlfriend is a Ghost,, I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door,,, Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 14, 2022 Share #292 Posted May 14, 2022 If anyone wants to come around and see my poor carpentry skills, my door is always open Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 15, 2022 Share #293 Posted May 15, 2022 The wife said it would really turn me on too watch you pleasure yourself! So I cracked open a beer an put the football on Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 16, 2022 Share #294 Posted May 16, 2022 Me mate Paddy has just bought a Smart car It wont let him in,,, Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 17, 2022 Share #295 Posted May 17, 2022 My grandmother started to walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 19, 2022 Share #296 Posted May 19, 2022 A very proud day for me... Just found out I've been accepted for the London School of Medicine... Only trouble is, they don't want me while I'm still alive Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 19, 2022 Share #297 Posted May 19, 2022 There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.The police believe they're still at large. Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 20, 2022 Share #298 Posted May 20, 2022 The blonde girl next door was delighted when she was caught stealing Mascara in Saudia Arabia, Welll she was told she would receive 50 Lashes,,,, Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 23, 2022 Share #299 Posted May 23, 2022 Walkers Crisps have announced that, after 74 years of production, they are just about to finish their first sack of potatoes! Link to comment
Seafood Posted May 23, 2022 Share #300 Posted May 23, 2022 Another Steven Gerrard slip up denies Liverpool a title yet again!! Link to comment
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