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Koolkat’s Quick Quips


koolkat

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Seafood

A Pun has not completely matured until it is full Groan!

 

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Seafood

Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’ There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.

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Seafood

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

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Seafood

I want to grow my own food but cannot find bacon seeds.

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Seafood

Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story....

 

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Seafood

I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.

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Seafood

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

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Seafood

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

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koolkat

A few more excuses:

·       “We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.”  (Vince Lombardi)

·       “We haven’t lost it, we just don’t know where it is at the moment.”

·        Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”  (James Thurber)

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Seafood

Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?

 
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koolkat

And two more excuses for the lazy:

·       “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.  (Joan Rivers)

·       “Exercise is bunk.  If you are healthy, you don't need it; if you are sick, you shouldn't take it.”  (Henry Ford)

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Seafood

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

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Seafood

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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Seafood

Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name.

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Seafood

I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.

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Seafood

‘Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible.’
‘Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.’

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Seafood

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.

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Seafood

I was kidnapped by a group of mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

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Seafood

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. The really good players are hard to find.

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Seafood

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem- you didn't see
nothin'.

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