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Murphy's Laws Of Sex


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Murphy's Laws Of Sex

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  1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
  2. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
  3. Sex has no calories.
  4. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
  5. There is no remedy for sex.
  6. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
  7. No sex with anyone in the same office.
  8. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
  9. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
  10. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
  11. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
  12. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
  13. It is always the wrong time of month.
  14. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
  15. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
  16. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
  17. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
  18. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
  19. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
  20. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
  21. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
  22. Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
  23. Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
  24. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
  25. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
  26. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  27. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
  28. Thou shalt not commit adultery.... unless in the mood.
  29. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
  30. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
  31. Never argue with a woman when she's tired -- or rested.
  32. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
  33. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
  34. Never say no.
  35. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
  36. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
  37. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
  38. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
  39. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
  40. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
  41. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
  42. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
  43. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
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