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Fatherly wisdom


uk666

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  • Andr-Tech

Fatherly Wisdom

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These are bits of wisdom gained by a father who was educated by his rather active children.

  • For those with No children---This is totally hysterical!
  • For those who already have children past this age---This is hilarious.
  • For those who have children this age---This is not funny.
  • For those who have children nearing this age---This is a warning.
  • For those who have not yet had children---This is birth control.

Fatherly Wisdom:

  1. There is no such thing as child proofing your house.
  2. A four-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  3. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
  4. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
  5. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry
  6. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  7. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  8. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh" it is already too late.
  9. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, lots of it.
  10. A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.
  11. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak...it explodes.
  12. Superglue is forever.
  13. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  14. Marbles in a gas tank make lots of noises when driving.
  15. You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
  16. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  17. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  18. A good sense of humour will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
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