Swearing at Work

[Seafood]

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.
Therefore, a list of 12 new and innovative, "TRY SAYING" phrases that have been provided, so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1.
Try Saying:
I think you could do with more training
Instead Of:
You don't have a fucing clue, do you?
2.
Try Saying:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of:
She's a fucing power-crazy bitch
3.
Try Saying:
Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of:
And when the fuk do you expect me to do this?
4.
Try Saying:
I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of:
Fuk off arse-wipe
5.
Try Saying:
Really?
Instead Of:
Well fuk me backwards with a telegraph pole
6.
Try Saying:
Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of:
Tell someone who gives a fuk.
7.
Try Saying:
I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of:
Not my fucing problem, mate.
8.
Try Saying:
That's interesting.
Instead Of:
What the fuk?
9.
Try Saying:
I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of:
No fucing chance mate.
10.
Try Saying:
It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of:
Why the fuk didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11.
Try Saying:
He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of:
He's got his head up his fucing arse.
12.
Try Saying:
Excuse me?
Instead Of:
Oi, fucface.