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Seafood

What's the best thing for a hangover in the morning?

Fifteen pints of lager the night before.

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Why did Mickey divorce Minnie? Because she was fckg Goofy.

What do you call an elephant with a smartphone? A roaming charge.

Seafood

What's the difference between a Tampon and a Lada?

The Tampon comes with its own tow rope.

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Q: What's the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral.

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What's the difference between a tramp and an MP?
One sits about on a bench all day, usually falling asleep, enjoys long liquid lunches and contributes nothing to society. The other's a tramp.
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Seafood

Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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Seafood
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Seafood
Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
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koolkat

How do you save a lawyer from drowning?

Stop pressing his head under water.

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koolkat

Why was Cinderella thrown off the team?

Because she ran away from the ball

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koolkat

Professor: What’s your superpower? Me: Hindsight.

Professor: That’s not going to help us. Me: Yes, I see that now

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Seafood

What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Wake?
One less drunk!

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