Special High Intensity Training

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Special High Intensity Training

 TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES
 SUBJECT:   SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

 In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
 productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
 employees well  trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
 INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more
 S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

 If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
 job, please see your manager.  You will be immediately placed at
 the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially
 skilled at seeing  that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

 Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
 DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.).
 Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go
 to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers
 took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do
 S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all  full of S.H.I.T. already.

 If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
 training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
 LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

 Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs,

 and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
 (D.I.P.  S.H.I.T.).

 If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
 TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).